My Latest

Ok, so this is one of my most recent paintings. It's called " Over Troubled Waters". The story behind it is, there was this bridge that I used to take home from my customer service job in Allentown. I lived in Reading and I traveled across this bridge at around 2am. This was a pretty dark time in my life, I was depressed, my job was stressful, I didn't feel that I would ever be able to get ahead, and everyone else was doing better than me. Not to mention that my disabled mother was too dependent on me. I lived with her and she let me know frequently that I could never leave her so I felt trapped. She was also not the most positive person, and she was the one who kind of put the idea in my head not to dare to dream because you'll just be disappointed. So never-the-less, I was under a psychiatrists care and I took anti-depressants. I used to think about driving off of this bridge sometimes, and as far as my mother goes, I did have a life insurance policy she would get. I used to talk about it with her and I guess that was a sign that I never really wanted to do it anyway. That was just the only way I knew how to express my desperation with the whole situation. And while my mother never wanted me to die, she saw my desperation and didn't care. She only cared that I would stay and take care of her regardless of how miserable it made me.

So this is the bridge and it symbolizes a lot. My mother passed away and that is really when my life began. Now, while it isn't perfect and I am not where I want to be, I know that I will get there. Killing myself is not even a thought I would entertain.

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