That Darn Lola....

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Ok, so this one is called, The Morning After (Lola Was Here). As you can see this is the reflection of Lola leaving a one night stand, in the bathroom mirror. You can see her signature AppleBottom Jeans, too.  It must have been a good night because she's left her phone number in red lipstick on the mirror.

It's weird, the idea for this one came to me in the middle of the night, I think I woke up to get some water and I had this picture in my head that I thought was clever. Lola gets into all kinds of trouble but I think it's fair to say that she has pretty much fun while she's doing it.

The Still Of The Night

Ok, so this one is called, The Still of the Night. It is actually the view from the front steps of the house that I grew up in, in North Philly. I remember sitting out there in the summer time. I didn't really have a bed time when a lot of my friends did so I would be left alone when they all had to go in. I remember it being a little chilly and very quiet, for the most part and kind of lonely. If my mom was home, she was upstairs, but usually she wasn't back then. Usually it was just my dad sitting in the living room, either asleep in front of the t.v. or actually watching it. It was kind of lonely and a little scary but it was comforting to look inside and see the light and the warmth and knowing that I could go inside anytime I wanted, (I was weird like that). 

This is exactly the view as I remember it. When I told some family what the picture was of, they asked, "But how do you know what it looked like there?" It's simple for me, I can see the picture in my head exactly as it was. Right down to the steel scraper that was next to a lot of old houses, where people used to scrape the crud off their shoes before going inside. Our scraper was actually the only one that was intact.  The abandoned candy factory across the street that burned down when I was a kid. And don't forget the trolley tracts in the street.

I thought using different shades of of blue for the whole painting was quite fitting. I wasn't really sure how to convey the feeling of loneliness I used to get sitting out there, but the blue really seemed to help. 

I recently showed some of my work to a new friend of mine and he also asked me, as someone else once did, why there is so much blue in my work. On one hand I do love to paint the sky and there is usually a lot of blue in the sky. On the other hand I think blue is a very emotional color and I am a very emotional person, so I think it's pretty fitting. Maybe I will get to a point in my life where the most prominent color in my paintings is pink, red, or yellow. I guess, for now, it may just be a phase I am going through. Even Picasso had his blue period....right?

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Ode To My Mother

 

Ok, so this one is called "Ribbon in the Sky". This one is for my mom, Marilyn, who died of Colon Cancer a few years ago. The ribbon is blue which is the color designated for Colon Cancer. 

I just wanted to do something that reminded me of her. I actually think I might do one of these for each of the Moore sisters in my family (both of my mom's sisters) too. Each of the sisters have had Cancer and now there is only one left. 

 

There is another one I am contemplating. It will be another painting that will be ode to my mom. The title of that one will be "For all the things I never said". It will be about 24X30" and it will show Lola starring out over the boardwalk out to the ocean. The view of Lola will be from behind, you can't see her face and most of the painting is in muted colors, except for her. You can see words written in the sand below and the words will be, ANGER, SADNESS, FEAR, TRAPPED. Stuff like that. I haven't started it yet because it will be a pretty important piece with a lot of feeling in it.

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The Secret

Ok, so this is a recent one that I did at the request of a friend of mine from the gym. We are both trying to put into practice the principles of the law of attraction as told by the movie The Secret. I just made a vision board today and I am really gonna try and make this work for me. The painting shows the concepts of the law of attraction. This is a close-up of the door, specifically the keyhole in the door. You can see the key coming towards the door and you can clearly see through the keyhole into all the possibilities that the future holds if you only use the key. Through the keyhole I tried to show symbols of what most of us want in some capacity, money, peace, happiness and love.  

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My Latest

Ok, so this is one of my most recent paintings. It's called " Over Troubled Waters". The story behind it is, there was this bridge that I used to take home from my customer service job in Allentown. I lived in Reading and I traveled across this bridge at around 2am. This was a pretty dark time in my life, I was depressed, my job was stressful, I didn't feel that I would ever be able to get ahead, and everyone else was doing better than me. Not to mention that my disabled mother was too dependent on me. I lived with her and she let me know frequently that I could never leave her so I felt trapped. She was also not the most positive person, and she was the one who kind of put the idea in my head not to dare to dream because you'll just be disappointed. So never-the-less, I was under a psychiatrists care and I took anti-depressants. I used to think about driving off of this bridge sometimes, and as far as my mother goes, I did have a life insurance policy she would get. I used to talk about it with her and I guess that was a sign that I never really wanted to do it anyway. That was just the only way I knew how to express my desperation with the whole situation. And while my mother never wanted me to die, she saw my desperation and didn't care. She only cared that I would stay and take care of her regardless of how miserable it made me.

So this is the bridge and it symbolizes a lot. My mother passed away and that is really when my life began. Now, while it isn't perfect and I am not where I want to be, I know that I will get there. Killing myself is not even a thought I would entertain.

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Gallery

 

I've decided to take a much more proactive approach to my art career. I want to be in galleries, I want to be "the next be thing" I want to be the hottest new thing out of Philly!  I have been researching art galleries in Philadelphia and I have checked out their websites. I have started contacting them to find out how a hopeful artist would be considered to show there. One emailed me back and said I would need to send disk along with a copy of my artist statement and my resume'. I plan to do that shortly, although I don't really have anything on my resume', I spent a year at University of the Arts, attended 2 flea markets and sold 2 paintings to co-workers and friends. Another gallery's website said that you only need to email them a link to your blog so I figured I'd update and add a few more paintings before I do that.

I also got an idea for a new painting that I might sketch out tonight and try to paint tomorrow. In addition to all of that I also think I may have found a solution to my money troubles for now. I have a lead on a job at Starbucks. The store is really close to me and they  have hours that would coincide with my schedule to allow me to work part-time. I think it is something I could make work, it'll help get my bills paid and give me a little extra to spend this summer. Who knows.....maybe Starbucks would even let me show my art there! Wouldn't that be great??? Killing two birds with one stone!!!

The painting at the top is called "Smitten" it's mushy and inspired by my man. I took a picture of his sweat jacket and in the painting his jacket is draped over my heart. The heat from my feelings for him seem to be changing the seasons. I know...I told you it was mushy!!

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Risk

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Risk! The concept is terrifying! I think especially for me considering the way I was raised. I think one thing that my mother instilled in me, probably stronger than anything else was fear. You know the plastic hand puppets that kids used to get with Happy Meals from McDonald's? My mom used to poke holes in mine before she gave them to me for fear that I might suffocate. I carried scissors and knives by the very tip of the handles and at arms length because my mom had me convinced I'd cut myself. 

I am afraid of everything and I am struggling to get over that. To go after what I really want in life is going to require risk and I have to be okay with that. Faith is another concept that I struggle with and I think that might be completely related to my risk issue. One takes a risk, with faith that they will get the best outcome. That whole concept is hard for me. One might invest all of there savings in starting a business with faith that it will be successful. While I would think, "well I know I won't lose my savings if I don't risk it to follow my dream", so my bet has always been on the sure thing. I also need to learn to take a risk and have faith with my feelings. I need to dare to dream and have faith that they will come true.

In the past I have never let myself dream or get my hopes up regarding things that I couldn't logically plan a way to make some true. Like I never let myself dream about beautiful condos, expensive vacations and things like that because I couldn't wrap my pessimistic mind around a way that I would ever achieve those things, so to me it was too painful. 

My new outlook has me dreaming and focusing on what I want and believing that the Universe will provide me with the circumstances in my life that will allow me to achieve those things. Even logically, 10 years ago, I never thought I would be able to work for a bank, hell 10 years ago I didn't think I could hold a job anywhere. I never thought I would have a house or drive a car and those things have all happened anyway.  It's amazing the things that I have accomplished when there were other people, myself included, who thought I couldn't. So my new saying is anything is possible if you believe that it is.

The painting above is titled "Through My Mother's Eyes" I attempted to show how even on a beautiful day without a cloud in a sky, my mother only saw the storm that may or may not be coming. The tree in the center represents me, it shows that I was blossoming with potential for greatness and she still couldn't see it. She was trying to look out for me and keep me from getting hurt, but in her eyes it was better for me to never attempt anything rather than to try and risk failing and getting hurt. It kind of set the tone for my perception of what I could do.