Unsure

This is one of my most recent ones, not quite sure what to call it yet. I'm thinking "Of Darkness and Light". This is my favorite so far. I'm not just unsure of what to call my painting, I am also unsure of my future. I am currently in school, going for my bachelor's in IT with a specialization in Graphic Design and Multi-media. Since I have realized that being an artist is really all I care to do, doing hours of homework that has nothing to do with my ultimate goal is really getting on my nerves. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if it's practical to try and get a job somewhere in the design field and just do my art on the side for whatever money I can make. My problem is when I am forced to learn something that I have no interest in I tend to skim the whole thing, pick out exactly what is needed to answer the questions in class so I can get an A, but then I never remember what I learned because I don't really have the desire to. I learn better hands-on, if someone would sit me down and show me how to do it, I'd have a better chance of retaining the info, I am a very visual person. 

I love painting and turning out something I really like, like the one above, it makes me so proud! I'm just so unsure of everything else. I think about dropping out of school, but my family would never let me forget it. Although I really shouldn't care what they think. I have over 60 credits, maybe there is something I can do to get an associates or some sort of certificate for the time I have put in. As far as programing languages and that sort of thing, If I ever did get into that field I would learn more from hands-on training anyway.

Another big reason is that...I'm almost 30, I am just tired of school. I have been going all my life and I don't want to anymore.

Regarding the painting above, it is supposed to show my spiritual and emotional transition from pessimism to optimism or from darkness into light. The red heart shaped balloon says Lola who is that dancing girl in one of my earlier posts. She is my alter ego. The floating balloon is flying from the dark dreary side into the light. Maybe this turmoil and the trapped feeling I get from school will turn itself into a brilliant painting someday. Mostly I think I am just terrified of taking chances and completely unsure of any decision I make. I get pretty paralyzed by fear. Maybe I should ask myself...."what would Lola do?"